The Urge To Purge

The urge to purge is back again. Restricted today... ate a salad from Freshii's at 11am (begrudgingly... I was super full and bloated feeling from family dinner the night before) and just now around 7pm I'm having some Greek yogurt with almond butter, vanilla vegan protein powder, maca powder, greens powder, cinnamon, sugar free chocolate chips, pecans, and blueberries. Now my hunger is high. I did an enema earlier. I was so bloated and uncomfortable I couldn't help it. Now I want to binge and purge. I was doing so well the other day eating what I felt like and not being guilty. Unfortunately that feeling is back. I didn't even get to workout today. And I have a major geometry test tomorrow that I have yet to study for. I feel like a failure. Why am I like this. I just want to be skinny and pure. I am not skinny and pure. I will never be skinny and pure but I can try. I will update if I b/p... :(