Ugh

Welp. Purged today. I came home and ate my vegan meal (begrudgingly, I wasn't even hungry) then started craving meat. Like, some sort of red meat, pepperoni sticks or something. Brain fogged out. Instead I ate 2 homemade oat protein squares, a small bag of Fritos, one Klondike bar, and a small bowl of cappuccino frozen yogurt. Purging now as we speak. Veganism is not for me. I don't even think vegetarianism is for me. Still not taking the Prozac. I feel frustrated and a bit out of control. Luckily everything is pretty much closed due to quarantine otherwise I'd get up to some shenanigans; go downtown, get drunk/high, party, meet people/boys, or just hit up a local pub. But I can't. I might fill my frustration with more bingeing and purging. I don't want to see Evan today. I just want to be alone. I just want to be skinny with small legs and a nice butt. I want to be pretty.

Bye.